Bloody Mary

Bloody Mary in my lips, strange thoughts in my mind, my lovely little pieces leaving me with an emptiness filled by you...

"This is the closest thing to crazy I have ever been.." Is it true? Of course not. I was always very close to crazyness. I love it. I love to live the impossible. The weird feeling of impossible gives me a strange satisfaction of life. I'm alive when I'm hurt. And I'm dead when I'm hurt.

The way I chose of living... This life is complicated in some points. I don't want anyone to understand me. Because if they do I won't be unique. I have always wanted to be unique.

I think I have a problem with commitment. Among all those people surrounding me I choose to be alone. I feel good when I'm sharing happiness but I feel me when I feel sadness and obsession. I'm living in an obsession.

No boundries anymore. In my way there are no walls, only decisions. Decisions I made at the very right moment. My life chances in very short periods of time. No plans, absolute freedom.

I only have my courage, holy chance, labirents of my brain controlled by my heart. There is nothing I can't do.

...

Having his dream while he's lying next to me without knowing the two eyes watching him sleeping, breathing, gently moving.. Every single detail of his lines, trying to see through his blood; understanding the ache and animal feelings; complications we face and the dying love and passion day by day. There's no other way but letting him go and drowning in my endless impatience, my soul trying to get away from my body, screaming like crazy without any sound..